More Than A Number
How often do you look at the number on the scale or your height compared to someone else and start to think of yourself as this one thing? For me, it happens almost every day.
I struggle with letting numbers define who I am. I did not like math in school and I never really understood it; and yet I let all the numbers I hate so much control me.
Weight: 180
Age: 23
Height: 5'5''
Shoe Size: 10
Number of Therapists I have Seen: 7
Medications I Take: 4
These are just a few of the numbers that I let control me. I let them affect what I think of myself and what others may think about me. Recently I added a new set of numbers that I have been letting define me.
LSAT Score: 146
Undergrad GPA: 3.9
Law School GPA (sorry don't currently know that one)
Number of Hours I have Studied: Probably 1 million (will never feel enough)
I keep adding new numbers. New numbers that I let affect me, define me, and change me. More than myself though, some people would like to make these numbers my identity. When applying for law school they would see my LSAT score and decide that based on that number I wasn't good enough.
When I walk into some stores and check out some clothes I like I can feel people in the store looking at the size I have grabbed and deciding if they think I will fit.
I have told people I have seen therapists and so people assume I must be crazy instead of embracing mental illness and treating it the same as anything else.
I am waiting (rather impatiently) for my grades to come back for the Spring Trimester. I am trying to remember that numbers shouldn't define me but I fear they will be the deciding factor and all that will be seen is one number.
I am more than a number. Numbers are just one part of who I am, but they are not all that I am.
I struggle with letting numbers define who I am. I did not like math in school and I never really understood it; and yet I let all the numbers I hate so much control me.
Weight: 180
Age: 23
Height: 5'5''
Shoe Size: 10
Number of Therapists I have Seen: 7
Medications I Take: 4
These are just a few of the numbers that I let control me. I let them affect what I think of myself and what others may think about me. Recently I added a new set of numbers that I have been letting define me.
LSAT Score: 146
Undergrad GPA: 3.9
Law School GPA (sorry don't currently know that one)
Number of Hours I have Studied: Probably 1 million (will never feel enough)
I keep adding new numbers. New numbers that I let affect me, define me, and change me. More than myself though, some people would like to make these numbers my identity. When applying for law school they would see my LSAT score and decide that based on that number I wasn't good enough.
When I walk into some stores and check out some clothes I like I can feel people in the store looking at the size I have grabbed and deciding if they think I will fit.
I have told people I have seen therapists and so people assume I must be crazy instead of embracing mental illness and treating it the same as anything else.
I am waiting (rather impatiently) for my grades to come back for the Spring Trimester. I am trying to remember that numbers shouldn't define me but I fear they will be the deciding factor and all that will be seen is one number.
I am more than a number. Numbers are just one part of who I am, but they are not all that I am.
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